Skye's Lair

Memories of my Grandmother

2011-01-05T09:10:00.006-05:00

I was washing the dishes this morning and, I'll admit it, I was in a particularly foul mood, when I washed a spoon that had peanut butter on it and my mood was instantly changed. They say smell is the sense that's most closely linked to memory and when I caught the smell of the peanut butter made stronger by the hot water I was reminded, vividly of my Grandmother. We used to sit together and make bird feeders out of peanut butter spread over pine cones and rolled in birdseed. My Grandmother loved birds. While I was growing up she owned a Mynah bird named Roger who could talk. She would sit Roger out on the front porch in the warm weather in his cage and my Grandfather. Somewhere Roger learned how to wolf whistle and this would get my Grandfather into considerable trouble with the high school girls walking home from school.

My Grandmother was born in 1899 to Irish immigrant parents and, until she moved in with us in Connecticut when I was 16 she lived her entire life in the same small upstate Massachusetts town. So small, in fact, that, until it closed in the early 90's, the local drug store still had a soda fountain where you could get the best milkshakes for miles.

I'm not sure when exactly she and my Grandfather married, the date was always eclipsed by the story about how a full blooded Irish Catholic eloped with a full blooded English Protestant then both went home to their respective families and no one knew they were married for a month. My Grandmother was a tiny little 4'11" redheaded Irish spitfire that my rather quiet and reserved 6' tall Grandfather, without question, adored. She would lay into him about something that set her off, he would wait until she had calmed down and say, softly, "Are you done?" and that would set her off all over again. My mother and aunt told stories of unworthy boyfriends she chased off the porch with a broom. Unfortunately my Grandfather left us long before she did. In his late 60s from cancer. As far as I know my Grandmother never dated and certainly never remarried after he was gone.

She lived through the Great Depression, the reason, I'm sure, there were always paper towels draped over every surface in her kitchen drying and why Ziploc bags were turned inside out, washed and reused until they ripped. My Grandfather was a butcher for a while and she used to tell us the story of how he and friends would go out and steal cows during the Depression to feed their families, how, during prohibition he used to bootleg whiskey. She lived through a Scarlet Fever outbreak and because she owned the largest house in town the sick children were brought there while the healthy were sent away.

When I was small, my grandmother was like a short little redheaded whirlwind. She would show up unannounced on our doorstep in her little red sports car, stay for a cup of tea and be off again. I would spend weekends at her house when my parents would go away together. Her house was magical. It was an old farmhouse converted into apartments on one side. The garage was the old barn and the old hayloft had been converted into storage space that I loved to explore. My Grandfather was a pack rat and that made exploration a true adventure. All the doors in her house were the original and could be locked with the old type skeleton keys. The pantry had a dutch door that I was forbidden to swing on (but always did anyway.) Her house was the home of things I couldn't get in my own such as Coke-a-Cola in glass bottles and Oodles of Noodles, Macaroni with just butter and Parmesan cheese, all emerging from the small ancient Frigidaire with the silver pull latch handle. It was where she taught me to tie my shoes and where we would walk to the drug store to get an ice cream cone (hers strawberry, mine chocolate), where I would ride my bike in the church parking lot across the street and climb the old cannons that decorated the park down the road. Where her enormous garden grew everything from Black Eyed Susans (still my favorite flower to this day) to green beans.

And where we would sit together at her kitchen table and make those bird feeders out of pine cones, peanut butter and bird seed and tie into the gigantic lilac bush outside the kitchen window.

My Grandmother passed on in February of 2000 a month before her 101st birthday. She lived a very long, very full and very happy life and wherever she is now....I hope there are birds.

Letting Go

2010-12-30T10:23:00.002-05:00

Thinking about New Year's resolutions and my resolution years ago never to make them. They set you up for failure. I think the new year should be about letting go. Letting go of all the old crap you carry around with you from the year before. Recognize that your life has wonderful things in it, wonderful people. Yes, the coming year is bound to drop some crap on you whether you like it or not so why drag all the old crap into the coming year as well?

I have wonderful friends, smart, talented, beautiful children and a loving family. I have a roof over my head, plenty of food to eat and enough left over (usually) to have a little fun now and again. I have a job that I love, a coworker who keeps me sane and others who make me crazy (but that's another post) and I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

Did bad things happen this year? Of course they did. Can I let go of them, get past them and start the new year with a positive attitude, grateful for the things I have? Of course I can. So can you.

Life is Short. Be Happy.

2010-06-04T18:25:00.002-04:00

It's fairly simple really. Human beings make it harder than it has to be. I'm as guilty as the next person of making life complicated. We make plans and they go awry. We get angry. Why? I've learned, recently, just how much energy people, myself included, waste on negativity. Just be happy.

Do one thing every day that makes you happy. I'm not talking about buying yourself a new car or quitting that job you hate. I'm talking one thing.

One. Little. Thing.

Every day.

Compliment someone, listen to the laughter of a child, smile, be nice, say good morning, lay on your back and stare at the clouds. Laugh, stop and listen to the wind, let it wash over you, enjoy the colors in your day, notice how blue the sky is, how soft the grass is.

Live your life every single day.

Tell someone you love them.

Life is short. Be Happy

Tab Overload May 4, 2010

2010-05-02T13:18:00.003-04:00

Been busy past couple days and next few to come but this one is pretty worth while....

Artists Helping Children: Drawing Dreams Foundation is a new Berkeley, California-based 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that helps provide art supplies to children's hospitals, and other organizations where the need arises.

Tab overload, April 30, 2010

2010-04-29T13:48:00.006-04:00

Tab closeouts...better late than never today. :)

5 Great Books for Strong Girls: Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty are nice stories, but if you want your daughter to dream of more than just kissing the prince, these books may help.

Mercury Retrograde Demystified: This article by Marguerite Manning explains the phenomenon of Mercury in retrograde and why it doesn't need to be paralyzing.

Asimov's is taking submissions: Guidelines here.

Free Comic Book Day: Tomorrow is Free Comic Book Day. Don't miss is, find someplace in your area to celebrate! :)

Full Face Transplant: (That's Face TRANSplant guys, not *faceplant*) A team of 30 Spanish doctors say they have successfully performed the world's first full face transplant.

38 Reasons Iron Man is Cooler than Darth Vader: I think I like numbers 7, 20 and 22 the best...

Tab overload, April 29, 2010

2010-04-28T10:31:00.006-04:00

Review of Blockade Billy by Stephen King: In this review on theDF_underground, Wayne C. Rogers takes an in depth look at the new novella by Stephen King.

Twelfth Night Steampunk style: How cool is this? On a side note to my graphics grrl geekiness... I looked at the cover of the booklet and my first thought was "I have that font". So very sad.

RFID Tagged Cows Start Tweeting: Really?

I AM Equal Project Seeking Donors and Sponsors: I AM Equal is a global awareness brand dedicated to engaging humanity in a conversation of equality and human rights with the intention of uniting people from all walks of life for the common good.

Fan-girls scare me: Especially middle aged women who obsessively fan-girl over Edward and the Twilight series....

Tab overload, April 28, 2010

2010-04-27T23:18:00.005-04:00

The Female Figure - The art of the feminine form with Jason Manley: Live streaming classes with a very beautiful program on the art of the feminine form. With three beautiful demonstrations by Massive Black Shanghai artist Zhanglu, and an in depth presentation by Jason Manley (yep me!), you will hear and see the information you need to understand when painting the female figure.

When: Sunday May 2 2010 1PM - 5PM Central Daylight Time (Austin TX time). Four hours of beauty, instruction, and art are yours. An assignment will be included.
Where: Right here on ConceptArt.Org Live and On Demand (forums link to come!)
How: Just have an ok connection and we are good to go. We will be using TAD's technology which is stable, light on bandwidth, and extremely reliable. The login information will come with the email after tuition is covered.
How much: 50.00 USD.

Texts from Last Night: If you're looking for a break in your day and want a really good laugh but LOLCats is just a little too cute for you, try Texts from Last Night.

How to write a Nicholas Sparks movie: Snarky and hilarious, this journal post shows you just what it takes to put out a multi-million dollar movie in just five simple steps!

Easy Street Prompts: This site is full of things to give your creative brain a jump start when you need one. Not just for writers, artists of all sorts can benefit from prompting on occasion.

Abandoned Places: Urban Exploration has been my fascination of late. The photos are creepy, stunning and sometimes quite beautiful. I can get lost on this site for hours at a time...

Tab overload, April 27, 2010

2010-04-27T10:24:00.003-04:00

OK let's get informative (and sometimes just plain fun). Taking a cue from a few (like a hundred) fellow bloggers I've decided to do a daily (but don't get your hopes up) link spam post. What should be the first in the series, brace yourself for a hodge podge of wild, weird, interesting and informative stuff...

Artist as Brand, Workshop Giveaway and scholarship Artist Greg Spalenka is giving away opportunities for the LAAFA workshop May 21, 22, 23, and for the LCAD workshop May 28, 29, 30 .

From Lost to Loved, A Cat's Life in Photos: This is positively adorable. This one is just for the "aww" factor.

70+ Fierce Dragon Designs from DeviantArt: This is just plain cool. Dragon lover or just an art lover you're going to want to check this out. The artwork ranges from awesome to adorable and everything in between.

Creating Vocal Fans, part 1: In this multi part series, Jon Schindehette, the Sr. Art Director for Dungeons and Dragons and Wizards of the Coast takes on the question of how to create vocal fans using social media as an outlet.

Oh what a tangled web we weave....

2010-03-28T18:13:00.003-04:00

Today I manged to tie just about everything, including this blog, into my Facebook page. Now, this blog, articles I write on my web page and images I post to my newly founded Tumblr account all post to my Facebook news feed. (My website articles also post to twitter, MySpace and LinkedIn) Not to be outdone, the Tumblr account loops back to the gallery at SkyeWolf Images when you click on the photo. This makes me insanely happy.

Why does this make me insanely happy? (I don't know maybe you didn't ask that but I'm going to tell you anyway.) Because it makes it that much easier to promote myself in one place. I know. In a perfect world I should be able to post everything in one place and have it propagate to all the others but the world isn't perfect and I'll take what I can get. Let's be honest. At any given time there's maybe 30 people on my website. Let's make that 30 entities because I'm convinced 90% of those entities are bots or spammers. My Twitter account has 169 (166, 171, it fluctuates) followers but my Facebook account? 720 people.

Now I'm not delusional enough to think all those 720 people are following my every movement on Facebook. I'm not even insane enough to think half those people read what I write. But it's still an opportunity, an off chance, of reaching 720 people in one fell swoop. Way too good to pass up. Anyone remember that old shampoo commercial, "and she told two friends and she told two friends". You never know anymore what's going to go viral or when.

So yes, all this spider webbing and inter-connectivity makes me insanely happy.

Flighty Brilliance...

2010-03-27T22:54:00.004-04:00

I'm not brilliant. At least I don't believe I am. Of course what kind of person would that make me if I did? I'm scatterbrained, feather-headed and forgetful. I make lists to remember things and then forget to look at the lists. Don't get me wrong I don't think I'm unintelligent. I'm just disorganized. I tend to think it's a trait in creative minds. What is the general consensus on creativity versus flakiness?

Defining Moments

2010-03-12T00:15:00.002-05:00

What defines us as people? As unique individuals worthy of a place on this planet? Is it the people we know, the things we accomplish. Our experiences, our suffering, our triumphs?

The question has been running through my head all day.

I don't have the answer. Not yet.

I have a part of the answer.

No one defines who I am as a person. No one but me.... I am built upon my own strengths, my own weaknesses. My own faults and the manner in which I deal with them....

No one but me...

Do You Care If I'm Relevant?

2010-01-31T23:04:00.002-05:00

Seriously? I don't really think you do. I mean isn't that the point of a personal blog? I don't have to be relevant do I? Because let's be totally honest here. I'm not always brilliant. Who is? But at least it gets me to write something every day. That's something right? So you get to hear about my life, boring as it is. Aren't you excited?? Today was just full of thrill. I dyed my hair back to all black again (from red and black) in preparation for switching colors to purple and black. And you know what the hardest part is? Trying to figure out where I want to be purple!

See? Complete and total irrelevance... :)

Routines or Lack Thereof

2010-01-28T12:38:00.003-05:00

It's been months since I posted here. In the interim I think I've built up and torn down my life at least twice. That's a lot for three months I'll admit but I think I'm better for it. So far 2010 is turning out to be a pretty good year for me personally. Things feel like they're moving forward. "Things" is such a nebulous word I know. I feel like if I could just settle myself into a routine everything would be perfect.

But I can't get there. Try as I might something keeps breaking up my "routine". The harder I try the more unsettled things get. I have a good job if I could sit at my desk for more than a half hour at a time and do it. The problem is it's not the kind of job you can get up from every ten minutes. I'm an artist. I get into a frame of mind. If you interrupt me it takes me time to get back to that frame of mind if I get back there at all.

I feel as though I'm whining and maybe I am. What I'm really doing is looking for the solution. I work when I can and the longest span of uninterrupted time is at night after everyone goes to bed and leaves me alone. Unfortunately I don't have the kind of life where I can work all night and sleep half the day away. I have a family that needs me during the daylight hours. My body has adjusted to 5 hours of sleep a night and I exist on Red Bull and coffee. Not the healthiest way to live I'll admit.

I just wish I could find a way to exist in the moment without having to recreate the moment every ten minutes. If anyone has a solution for me, I'm all ears. Otherwise I guess I'll just flail blindly until I stumble upon something. Either way, you'll all be the first to know.

Sorry for the absence. I'll try to keep up a little better now. :)

Ciao!

Slight delay...

2009-10-13T12:25:00.002-04:00

I've been remiss in my blogging lately. The last week or so has been spent either packing, moving furniture or sleeping. With the one exception of the other night when I took a much needed, much appreciated night off in the company of a good friend.

I'm exhausted. I'm not sure what's more tiring though. The physical labor of actually moving or the mental chaos you suffer from existing in two places at once, once you get to that crucial point where most of what you own is at the new place but you're still not quite ready to take up residence. I keep going to look for things I need only to realize they're not *here*. Frustrating.

In case you're wondering, yes this post will probably be just one long ramble for the sake of rambling. I promised myself I'd keep up with this blog and I'm going to. It's been too long between posts as it is, so even a long, winding, rambling post is better than silence.

As long as I'm rambling, I need to thank the friends that have been keeping me sane this past month or so. You know who you are.

Today is a much needed day away from packing and moving furniture. I am catching up on neglected work, something my boss is probably highly thankful for at this point. Moving has put a damper on my plans to regulate my work day better. I'm rotten at time management as it is so spending hours of my day packing or moving doesn't leave a lot of time for work. I'm so tired at night that while I sit here and make a valiant attempt at accomplishing things, I find an hour has gone by and I'm just staring at the screen. Today though, I've managed to actually cross lingering stuff off my to do list. (Though the more I sit here the more aches and pains I discover.)

Alright, looking at the clock, I've wasted enough time on this for now. Be good everyone....I'll be back eventually with something meaningful, I promise.

Getting Rid of Negativity

2009-10-05T18:06:00.006-04:00

I am deep down, bone weary tired. I am truly hoping the peace of mind I get from having all of my important things moved is worth it in the end.

Once again, I did want to write a post but it seems as if my brain has decided to pack it in for the night. So, once again, we dig into the files for something I wrote that used to be on my old website. I'll be doing this, or a variation of it, tomorrow when I set up my new space at the new apartment so I thought it might be appropriate here.

It's always good to start off anywhere with a cleaning. We move into a new apartment and no matter how surface clean it seems we always clean it ourselves before moving in. It's just something we feel. Cleaning does more than get rid of dirt and grime. It puts our energy into a place, it makes it our own.

When you move into a new place, especially apartments or houses that have been lived in many times before (The apartment I am moving to is in a building built in 1892) it's always a good thing to cleanse the house on a more spiritual level too. Whether you're Christian or Pagan or Hindu or Buddhist you can perform certain rituals specific to your faith in order to cleanse your space and clear any lingering negativity. Below is a ritual I wrote a few years ago to cleanse our house. Some of the lines may seem a little hokey, I'm not the best poet in the world. Feel free to change it to suit your own needs.

To Cleanse Negativity from a Place

Needs: White Candle, Consecrated water, Consecrated Salt, Sage bundle, Heat proof bowl, tray to carry objects from room to room

Light the white candle and sage. Hold the candle out in front of you and torn a slow circle, clockwise, and say:

“Fire to burn away the past.”

Turn in another slow circle clockwise, sprinkle a little water and say:

“Water to clear our troubles at last”

Turn in another slow circle clockwise, sprinkle a little salt and say:

“Earth to ground us and keep us sane”

Hold the sage out in front of you and turn once more in a slow circle clockwise and say:

“Air to lighten our spirits again.”

Spread your arms wide and say:

“This space is free from negativity
As is my will, so mote it be!”

Continue to the next area to be cleansed and repeat until all areas are done.

By SkyeWolf

Less is More

2009-10-03T14:28:00.002-04:00

I'm currently packing up my office. I'll be moving it early next week and I'm looking forward to it actually. Yes I'm moving someplace considerable smaller and that means I need to slim down my belongings quite a bit. I expected to become depressed as the house emptied out, the walls became bare. To my surprise it's had the opposite effect. As things go into storage or get moved to the new place it's almost like a weight is being lifted. My soul is becoming lighter.

I've never really explored the idea of lightening the burden by getting rid of personal possessions. Now I'm not saying I'm considering giving away all my worldly possessions and running off to a Tibetan monastery mind you. Just packing away the majority of them and starting over with only the things I really need.

"He who dies with the most toys wins." We don't realize it while we're acquiring them but toys are a burden. For every DVD you buy comes the burden of finding the time to watch it. For every electronic gadget, or infomercial impulse buy comes the responsibility of using it. Every video game we buy is time taken away from something more rewarding, more enriching.

I don't want to get preachy. Actually I'd rather avoid that in this blog if I can. I just think people need to explore minimalism a little. I think it puts you in touch with who you really are if you can't hide behind your "things".

Almost Not Quite a Post...

2009-10-02T21:49:00.006-04:00

I had the intention of blogging something tonight but my brain is swiss cheese and I'm not entirely positive I could write anything even vaguely coherent. I swear when I'm done moving I'm just going to sleep for a week.

So instead of a long rambling incoherent post about nothing in particular I thought I would dig out my files and repost something that used to be on my website. It's an article I wrote on the use of creative visualization.

Creative Visualization
Imagine What You Can Do!

The tools of the Craft. Chalice, athame, wand, candle, pentacle, incense, crystals, creative visualization. Wait. Creative visualization? I know what you’re thinking. “That doesn’t belong there!” Unfortunately, many make the same mistake. When you think about the tools of the Craft, do you think in tangible items? Wands, athames, altars, things you can see and touch? Properly honed, creative visualization, your own imagination, is perhaps the greatest Craft tool at your disposal. Anywhere, anytime it is always with you, making it the most portable of tools. I have performed an entire ritual, from circle casting to circle banishing using nothing more than my imagination, with successful results.

As children we use our imaginations every day. I watch my children now and remember the days when I was Wonder Woman. When I sailed the waters of the Amazon, explored the depths of the jungle, marched days across the burning desert, all without leaving my backyard. As children, our imaginations are unhindered by the adult world of responsibilities and the daily grind. We don’t care, as children, if we look “foolish”. The key to successful visualization is to remember back to the days of our childhood, when our minds were fresh and unfettered. Meditation, done properly, can be a key to unlock your imagination.

Once, when expressing my frustration with not being able to clear my mind completely in preparation for meditation, someone told me it was almost impossible to empty your mind completely due to the power of suggestion. The harder you try not to think about something, the more it intrudes on your consciousness. “For instance” he said, “try not thinking about a blue eyed polar bear.” I couldn’t do it. But, ever since, that blue-eyed polar bear has become my focus for meditation. I have found that the more I try to empty my mind, the faster the thoughts come popping into it, but, if I have one single focus, I find I can clear my mind of everything but that focus. It is something I believe I picked up from, of all things, childbirth classes.

The exercise is this:
Close your eyes, breathe deeply and relax, your technique for relaxation is up to you, I find that, with one deep cleansing breath, I can relax my whole body at once. Others like relaxing it one part at a time beginning with the feet and ending with the head. Which ever you choose it’s up to you. When you feel you are sufficiently relaxed, bring the image of a blue-eyed polar bear into your mind. Focus on the bear as a whole at first and gradually bring the image closer, as if you were walking toward the bear, until all you can see are the vibrant blue eyes. Look deep into the eyes, study them. What color blue are they? Are they all one color or many different blues? Set your mind free to imagine what ever it wishes, you will be surprised. When you wish to end the meditation, back away from the bear again until you can see the whole bear, close your mind’s eye, take another deep cleansing breath and open your eyes.

In order to “exercise” your imagination, you must play. Children know this instinctively. They exercise their imagination constantly. Unfortunately, as we grow older we play less and, like a muscle that goes unused for a long period, our imagination atrophies. If you have small children, exercising your imagination is much easier. Involve yourself in their games of make believe. Be the dragon for your little knight to slay, the horse for your little cowgirl to ride. It’s wonderful exercise for your imagination and at the same time will bring you closer to your children. If you don’t have small children at home, you can still play. I have, in my car, the soundtracks to both Mission Impossible and Charlie’s Angles. Sometimes, I like to play the music and pretend. Maybe I’m driving a suped up sports car (I drive a 95 Geo Tracker), and in my back seat are the top-secret military plans I’ve just stolen (instead of a car seat and a basket of laundry). I’ll admit that sometimes it’s a little hard to imagine that gorgeous hunk in the passenger seat when there’s a small Pug staring balefully up at me, but you get the picture. Play. If nothing else, your kids will love you for it.

If you are planning a long involved spell or ritual, then I would not recommend the sole use of visualization but it is possible to cast a circle, perform a ritual or spell and banish the circle, all in the depths of your mind. I’ve done it. All it takes is an active imagination and a little practice. Tools are just that….tools, they should accessorize your ritual, not comprise it.

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit...

2009-10-01T15:37:00.001-04:00

For years I kept my own pagan website. I would update it on occasion with rituals I wrote, research I did etc. I had even been asked by one of the editors at Llewellyn to write a piece for the 2007 Wiccan Almanac (staunchly NOT Wiccan, but it was such a kick to be asked that I wrote the piece anyway). But last year when the US economy tanked, one of the first things I did to start cutting expenses was let the domain name lapse and cancel the hosting. It was desperately in need of a redesign that I had no time to do, I hadn't added new content to it in probably years and it was suffering badly from general neglect, so it seemed a sensible thing to do.

Of course when I first bought the domain name and designed the site way back in 1998 blogs were in their infancy and didn't have anywhere near the popularity and ease of use they do now. Nor was I as web-savvy as I've become over the last 10 years. Now that blogs have become so commonplace and simple to set up and maintain I've been thinking a lot about re-inventing my original website as a simple blog.

I am a freelancer and work several jobs to help make ends met. Needless to say this schedule doesn't leave a whole lot of time for my spirituality and that's something I'm really starting to miss. For a very long time it was an integral part of my life. It's still very much a part of who I am however the day to day practice of it is suffering as much from neglect as the forgotten website was.

That said, I am also in the process of moving, again due to the failing US economy. My books, supplies, tools and furniture are packed in boxes waiting, patiently, for me to unpack and set things up again. For a new start.

Today also happens to be the first day of my birth month and I thought to myself, what better time to start to again devote a small portion of each day to my spirituality. Whether it be writing, sharing a bit of research, a ritual I wrote or a personal experience that touched me in some way. I am hoping, having this blog will motivate me to keep up with it on a regular basis.

So what can you hope to find here on any given day? Who knows. I can't even promise there will be something new every day. All I can promise is that whatever it is, it will be a part of me in some way.

I hope you come along for the ride. :)