It's been months since I posted here. In the interim I think I've built up and torn down my life at least twice. That's a lot for three months I'll admit but I think I'm better for it. So far 2010 is turning out to be a pretty good year for me personally. Things feel like they're moving forward. "Things" is such a nebulous word I know. I feel like if I could just settle myself into a routine everything would be perfect.

But I can't get there. Try as I might something keeps breaking up my "routine". The harder I try the more unsettled things get. I have a good job if I could sit at my desk for more than a half hour at a time and do it. The problem is it's not the kind of job you can get up from every ten minutes. I'm an artist. I get into a frame of mind. If you interrupt me it takes me time to get back to that frame of mind if I get back there at all.

I feel as though I'm whining and maybe I am. What I'm really doing is looking for the solution. I work when I can and the longest span of uninterrupted time is at night after everyone goes to bed and leaves me alone. Unfortunately I don't have the kind of life where I can work all night and sleep half the day away. I have a family that needs me during the daylight hours. My body has adjusted to 5 hours of sleep a night and I exist on Red Bull and coffee. Not the healthiest way to live I'll admit.

I just wish I could find a way to exist in the moment without having to recreate the moment every ten minutes. If anyone has a solution for me, I'm all ears. Otherwise I guess I'll just flail blindly until I stumble upon something. Either way, you'll all be the first to know.

Sorry for the absence. I'll try to keep up a little better now. :)

Ciao!